STEAK AND SHAKE
Treasures Gentlemen's Club & Steakhouse satisfies a man's appetites
BY JARRET KEENE

Glowing like a forbidden wonderland on Highland Drive next to the I-15, Treasures gives new meaning to the phrase "meat market." That's because the "gourmet restaurant" the gentlemen's club used to boast of has recently been re-tooled into a steakhouse. 

The menu really hasn't changed much, except that there is now a distinct emphasis on prime beef. And what better way to warm the cockles of a red-blooded man's heart than with a piece of red meat as topless young ladies shake their moneymakers to a little Fiddy?

Arriving early on a Friday evening, we announced our intent to dine and bypassed the club's cover charge. "Welcome to our steakhouse," said someone who looked to be the chef. Our waitress, Cecelia, set us up at a table that provided a perfect view of the stage, where a single transparent pole, illuminated from within, changes colors like a light saber on the fritz.

The dining room is akin to a candlelit nightclub lounge, but adorned with Greco-Roman statuary and paintings of white-wigged British aristocrats. The plush chairs have the name "Treasures" stitched on the headrests, and the tables are marble. Sure, the heavy drapes and Crown molding weaken the contemporary appeal of the room, but this is still a surprisingly comfy area in which to, for instance, throw an upscale bachelor party.

"You guys need some company?" asked one of two lovely blondes who approached us before we could even order so much as a bottled water ($8!).

"No thanks," I said. "We're just here to eat. We'll catch up with you in the club."

Party favors aside, the food here is surprisingly good. For an appetizer, we enjoyed the crisp calamari ($9), lightly 

breaded and served with marinara sauce, and washed it all down with a couple of $8 Heinekens. (If you haven't caught on yet, buying drinks at a strip club is expensive, making the food at Treasures a comparative bargain.) We skipped the salads, and went right for the 24-ounce bone-in ribeye ($38), which was juicy and flavorful, if a tad tough. The filet mignon ($28), meanwhile, was tender and, since it's a leaner cut, I highly recommend it. Together with some garlic mashed potatoes ($5) and creamed spinach ($5), we had a serious meal on our hands. (And the fresh bread was free!) We polished it all off with gusto.

Fortunately, the strip club in the next room never compromised the meal, except when the DJ announced: "And now direct from Bulgaria, and a three-time Miss Bulgaria ... Isis!" We had to snicker. Our waitress, meanwhile, was hyper-attentive without being overbearing, which is no easy task. And when she told us our steaks were two-for-one - "because it helps the food taste better, you know" - we felt truly blessed.

Sadly, our tab was confusing. Menu prices did not reflect what was on the bill (the ribeye actually costs $38), and Cecelia insisted on a $27 tip for reasons I still can't fathom. I let it go; after all, we had chosen to eat in a strip club, and a $120 dinner for two isn't too bad of a hit. In any case, clarity on such issues would be nice. Chef Ed, a young guy who seems as intelligent as he is skilled in the culinary arts, emerged from the kitchen to greet us. Overall, it was a terrific evening.

The titties - I wouldn't know, as Treasures is one of those clubs that doesn't have any chairs around the main stage. In order to slip some George Washingtons into a G-string, you have to stand there looking like a complete tool until a stripper finishes gyrating long enough to notice you. Maybe next time, and after I've had a few more Heinees.

Treasures Gentlemen's Club & Steakhouse is open nightly from 7 p.m. until closing at 2801 Westwood Drive. Call 702.257.3030 to make reservations. Treasures also offers a weekend breakfast buffet from 5 to 7 a.m., and a happy-hour buffet weekdays from 4 to 7 p.m. LW