WHAT A GIRL WANTS
With McCain as a Republican gal�s option, perhaps it�s time for an �I� by my name

I may not be ready for full-fledged flag-flying Libertarianism, but I don�t think I can remain a registered Republican much longer. As I explained to the 39 McCain fundraisers who phoned in May: �When the GOP stops sliding leftward and gets back to Goldwater-Reagan values, I�ll write more checks. In the meantime, stop sending me these pretend party platform surveys that a one-armed tree monkey could complete. They�re insulting.�

Is it too much to ask for a conservative candidate who is a true conservative? Can we please have a guy who talks about traditional ideas as if he really understands them? I want to be talking about slashing our $3.1-trillion federal budget and balancing all remaining ledgers. I want a cessation of all entitlements and an end to unnecessary bureaucracy. I want wide-sweeping tax reform, clean legislation out of D.C., and all earmarks to die a fiery death.

Let�s run a pipeline or two over the tundra and ruin the scenic view of three Arctic terns. I want gas prices back down in the $2 range while we decide what will fuel our future. I don�t want crap-and-trade energy policy or corporations exchanging �carbon emission credits.� (Can we please stop inserting abstract ideas into the economy as if they are commodities that can actually support our markets?)

I want an end to the �drug war,� which is costing us billions, filling up our prisons and accomplishing little. I want prison reform, including the system-wide establishment of work camps in which convicts pay their debt to society by laboring 40 to 50 hours per week (like the rest of us!) I want these prison workplaces to produce something useful and to be managed like a business: efficiently and for profit.

I want us to abolish or considerably reduce the scope of the failed Department of Education as well as the influence of the teachers� unions. I want more charter schools and more home schools, plus better educational and job tracking based on our kids� abilities and interests. I want more kids to go to vocational schools and for everyone to stop pretending that every child needs (or wants) a four- to nine-year college education. I want an end to affirmative action in academics, such that the smartest and hardest working kids are accepted into our colleges, period.

So, what�s my beef with the GOP and their latest maverick poster-boy, John McCain? He isn�t an authentic conservative, nor is he an actual maverick. For example, his pro-life credentials are decidedly shaky. He�s also notorious for pandering to the left and has echoed their lies by calling the Bush tax cuts �for the rich.� He�s repeatedly changed his tune on immigration policy and favors constitutional rights for foreign terrorists. He helped legitimize the filibustering of judicial nominees in the Senate and championed bad campaign-finance reform. He co-sponsored the McCain-Kennedy illegal immigrant �Forgive, Forget and Let�s-all-have-a-Scotch� bill. He also voted for Arlen Specter�s ridiculous Let�s-ask-Mexico-if-we-can-build-a-fence on-our-own-freaking-border bill. He�s against drilling in ANWR no matter what, and he talks about green living like he personally dreamed it up.

As for McCain�s tax credit for health care, I�ll take it �but let�s remember that if income taxes weren�t so high in the first place we wouldn�t need a credit in order to afford our family�s medical bills. I am glad the man talks about supply-side economics, but how much credit does a future president really deserve for understanding the basic principles of ECON 101? And please don�t hand me any lines about McCain�s commitment to appoint constitutionalist judges. That should be a no-brainer, so no brownie points are awarded. 

I�m well aware that what I want cannot be had � at least not this year. Whatever my vote this November, I�ll probably have an �I� rather than an �R� on my voter card by 2012 � if for no other reason than to let the GOP know how disgusted with things I really am.